Out of the Struggle

A lot has happened in the last year. So much I wanted to share and be able to look back on. There was a lot of joy over the last 12 months. SO much joy! But we also had our share of heartache. And every time I was going to write, I just couldn't do it. I thought about posting only the ordinary or joyful things, but the truth is the two aren't exclusive. Our lives aren't and shouldn't be, happy or sad. Joy or pain. 

When we adopted Liam over 5 years ago, I learned that joy doesn't always come without sadness. Sometimes the two are a packaged deal. The world will tell you to avoid any discomfort, sadness, or anything that is a struggle. But I have learned that in the struggle is where I find God the easiest. It is where I am reminded that more than anything He is all we need. That no matter what is going on in my life, He knows, He sees, He cares, and He is working ALL things for good. The most beautiful things in this life come out of the struggle. 

In the last year we have loved on babies that we had to let go, not knowing if or when we would see them again. We have grieved for hopes and dreams that were not meant to be. And rejoiced when God revealed new hopes and dreams for us. I wouldn't trade any of the joy to not have to go through the pain. 

As 2016 ended, I prayed that in the new year God would be magnified in my life in the year to come. As this year has gone on I have learned a new trust in Him. One that prays for His will over my own wants and dreams. One that chooses compassion over my own hurts, frustrations, and feelings. I am slowly learning to believe that He truly uses all things for His good. As Katie Davis states in her new book Daring To Hope, "And I did not know that in the middle of much pain and grief and loss, I would experience a joy and a peace that far surpassed human understanding. Reality would shatter my optimism, but I would realize that it was only a cheap substitute for true hope anyway. The Lord would take the darkness and make it my secret place, the place where I knew Him more intimately and deeply than I had ever fathomed possible. In the middle of the hurricane that surrounded me, I would experience a true Comfort so deep, so clear, that it simply could not be denied. It was Jesus. He was near." 

April 2017

Life looks a lot different than it did in September of 2016. My preschooler is off to kindergarten and is now a big brother. We have a 7 month old crawling all over the house. Max is busier than ever running the business, being fire chief, and ministering at the jail each week. My heart is more full than I ever could have imagined it to be. I am excited to share a little more about the joys and struggles of the last year and what life is like now. 

I hope that if you find yourself reading this blog, you would see Jesus. That you would be encouraged to find joy IN your struggle. That you would be reminded that the joy of the Lord isn't based on circumstances. What a blessing! It is my prayer that we would all be more willing to get uncomfortable this year. That we would be willing to take embrace the struggle and accept the joy with it.